Notre Ugly

To all of my Buzzyblog followers from Ridge, you may want to skip today because not only do I take a shot at Paris' Notre Dame Church but I am also about to say something semi-blasephmous about Ridge's St. Michael's Church.  Consider yourselves forewarned.

First, Notre Dame de Paris (Our Lady of Paris)  which I just visited again on my recent trip to France.  With very sincere hopes that I am not sounding too much like the Trumpster himself here, I have come to the conclusion that this is one very ugly lady both inside and out. 

And I don't come to this conclusion about Notre Dame lightly.  After having to spend hours and hours of my formative years looking at St. Michael's Church while ensconced in the adjacent school, I know very well what an ugly church looks like. 

I made my First Holy Communion at St. Michael's, was Confirmed there, did every First Friday Mass there for 8 school years, and sat thru far too many funerals there for St. Michael's not to mean something special to me.  

Interior-wise St. Michael's is very nice and just may be one of my favorite churches because of that.  It is spacious and bright, has great stained glass windows and there is an overall warm feel to it that I get whenever I walk in.  Feels like home literally.

It is exterior-wise that I just can't look at St. Mike's too long because all I can think about is that it looks more like a barn than it does a church.

The burgundy red, or whatever color that is supposed to be, paint doesn't help to change this barn look either; and it only reinforces this opinion for me.  What kind of color is barn red for a church anyhow?  Has anybody ever thought to paint that bad boy maybe a lighter, better color? 

I guess, to be kind, we could say that it is wine colored but still, it looks to me like a mash up of an 84 Lumber Building and a Big Barn Furniture Store with a bell tower smacked on its front.  

But back to where I started regarding Paris' Notre Ugly.  I have now visited it several times and try as I may to be objective knowing that Gothic architecture doesn't do much for me, I still think ND tries too hard to be cool and has just way too much of everything.  Simple is good and more is better, but Notre Dame is way, way too much over the top for me.  For instance, whereas as most churches only have one bell tower, Notre Dame has two making it's front entry look more like a football goal post than a cathedral.  

As Viewed From Montparnasse Tower

In addition to the two bell towers, all the sculpted figures, ugly gargoyles and flying buttresses adorning Notre Dame make it look more like a whore house prison than a place of worship.  And although the Catholic Church still pretends that it is a place of worship it isn't because once you wander inside with the hundreds of other pushing and shoving tourists, you suddenly realize that this place may just be what hell is like.

Buzzy and Tour Group Sizing Up Notre Dame From the Outside 

Inside Notre Dame, after waiting in a long line with a bunch of other idiot tourists, you will find that, unlike St. Michael's, Notre Dame gets drastically worse.  It is dark and dreary and as you plod along in the dark tripping over the hundreds of other tourists , it feels more like a stroll thru a Halloween Blood Manor operation than it does a visit to a holy church.  I remember Buzzy saying as we wandered around inside "Looks like they could spend a little money and fix the old place up some."

One final note (maybe real final) in all likelihood my funeral will be held at St. Michael's some day.  Afterwards, I will be interred next door in the graveyard for eternity looking at the church  every day just as I did in my formative school years.  Full circle wouldn't you say?  No problem.  I just wish they'd paint old Mike another color.